Fat.

I was just browsing facebook like I usually do around this time and what came up randomly? Me. 32 weeks pregnant. It hurts to see myself like that sometimes. I miss looking down and seeing my baby belly and NOW? Im just fat. The fact that now I'm stuck with this huge gut and I dont have my little girl to lighten the blow makes me really angry. I knew my body wouldnt be the same anymore (but really, I wouldn't care as much as I do now if she were here with me) and maybe I'm just being selfish and vain and just a horrible person to even think about my weight and body image right now but it just makes me that much more bitter not having her here & looking like this. I'm fucking going to shapes tomorrow.